Etiquette and the Martial Artist

I was never in the military.

My parents did not raise me to say “yes, sir” and “no, sir”.

People usually raise their eyebrows when I that to them; primarily because about 90% of the etiquette rules that I follow as an adult were learned through years of training in martial arts.  I constantly tell friends and students alike that consistent training will change your behavior for the better and it will eventually bleed into all aspects of your life as well.  It’s kind of a neat thing, because how I carry myself in public is often been the subject of conversation when I meet someone new once it’s noticed.

Now, the International Tang Soo Do Federation, much like many other large traditional martial arts organizations, has a number of written rules of etiquette on the training hall floor.  This includes properly entering the room, greeting your senior(s), and the rules of officially starting and ending class.  Still, there are a lot of unwritten rules that you learn over the years through experience (and doing the wrong thing and finding out the hard way).  Here’s a few examples (in no particular order):

• If you wish to go train at another school (while visiting another area, or if you’re on that side of town), be sure you ask your senior instructor for permission first.
• When eating, and the senior rank stands up, so does everyone else.
• Travel to events in dark-colored suits.  Casual clothes are never acceptable (especially when Asian masters are involved).
• If you’re not in uniform, or if you do not train regularly at a particular school, bust yourself down to the lowest rank until you’re told otherwise.
• If you’re an instructor or master, never use your title when speaking to or writing to a senior rank.

Believe me when I say that I’m nowhere close to naming all of the “rules” that go with the practice of etiquette, but suffice it to say that many of them are steeped in Asian business and culture.  Most of them just boil down to being polite.  After a few years, you may notice that you use both hands to shake in greeting (I even give a short bow); you may also find that you pay more attention you your usage of formalities (I’ve even caught myself saying “yes ma’am” to my own daughter on occasion).

Etiquette in martial arts goes much further than just bowing at the appropriate time! There are a lot of rules!

It’s not a bad thing, believe me.  In today’s world, you really don’t see enough of it.  While one of the “Ten Articles of Faith”  in my federation is respect for elders, it’s kind a universal truth.  Call me old school, but the way I was raised, when someone older than you speaks up, you quiet down, listen, and pay attention.  Go to any martial arts school worth its salt and you’ll see this same ideal enforced.  To do otherwise usually results in push-ups, extended horse riding stance, etc.  Harsh?  No.  It teaches discipline.  I’ve seen kids held back from testing for black belt because of their attitudes, no matter how talented they were physically.  I’ve seen schools kicked out of my federation because the school owner couldn’t figure out what the word “humble” means.  Humility and etiquette go hand in hand.  Ask any seasoned martial artist.  Shotokan master Gichin Funakoshi once said that Karate begins and ends with respect.  There’s a lot more to that statement than meets the eye….

One subject I used to touch on with an old friend quite often was that of socializing with students after class.  I remember once that the question was posed to Grandmaster Kim about going out with the students socially.  His response was (and I’m paraphrasing here) that it can often be lonely when you are the senior instructor.  The students often look to you for leadership and guidance, and see you as the leading authority within the walls of the training hall.  Putting yourself in situations that could potentially compromise that relationship make things hard for both you and the student.  I’m often invited to lunch with my students after a hard morning of training on Saturdays; but I always respectfully decline, just for that reason.  It took me a while to learn that lesson; but I now understand it…..and it makes the lessons in etiquette much easier.  This is also why you often see the black belts kind of hanging with one another at large events.  It’s not often we get to socialize, and it’s nice to relax the etiquette button a tad when you’re among equal ranks.

Grabbing a drink and few laughs with the students may seem like a good way to blow off some steam after a hard class, but you run the risk of undermining the etiquette that you're trying to instill!

Anyway, if you’re in training, take a moment to examine how it has changed the way you relate to others.  Has it made you more polite?  Has it made you more respectful of others?  You probably know that’s just one of the many benefits that you don’t initially see in martial arts.  Even if you don’t train, and you know someone who does.  Note the difference in their everyday behavior (as compared to others).  Does it stand out?  That’s the mark of good instruction.

Until next time, folks!  Keep training, and keep your etiquette button on!

Master Wayne Boozer