On a Serious Note……

It’s unfortunate that the subject of bullying has been widely prominent in the news and media lately.

 

Regardless, it’s a topic that I think we all face at one point in our lives, regardless of age; and dealing with it is never easy.  Children go through it.  Adults can have to deal with it as well.  I think each of us can tell at least one story from personal experience.

 

I remember the prime “bullying” years when I was a kid.  At some point or another, it was from ages 6 – 13.  Largely, it actually helped to shape the person that I am today.  While I endured it, I chose not to allow the victimization to deter me.  I was, and still am, shorter than average and wore glasses, so I was really quite the easy target.  I can remember being ridiculed for my height, my limited vision, being thin, being black, being smart, and even my strange-sounding full name.  I’ve heard all the jokes, believe me.

 

My mother, in all her wisdom, often came to my rescue when things got out of hand.  Unfortunately, in the world of children, having Mom come to help can often result in the bullying coming back on you tenfold.  Times may change; but politics among children is still very much the same.  Kids will eventually find an opportunity when all adult backs are turned.  It may be on the bus, in the playground, or simply around the neighborhood.  Eventually, I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet.

 

Now, I’m not saying that all children should have to endure this; and I am determined to not have my own kids go through this cycle; but statistics are working against us.  I have to be prepared for the eventuality.  What I CAN do is arm my kids, and all children that train with me, against it.

 

No child should ever have to endure this. Arm your child BEFORE it happens instead of reacting to it afterwards.

 

 

Before I proceed, let’s get one thing straight.  Teaching a child to handle bullying in a martial arts class does NOT mean showing him or her how to pummel the other kid.  There is a time and place for self-defense; and using your hands and feet is actually the great failure of martial arts practice.  If you have to resort to violence, then your powers of negotiation have either failed, or the situation has escalated to the point of where you have no choice.  Needless to say, harming the other person is not the intention, no matter what their motives are; but that’s another story.  The first tool a child is given in my class is self-confidence.  Growing up, I learned, sometimes the hard way, that despite what childhood detractors would tell me, there was little to nothing that I could not accomplish if I put my mind to it.  Constant encouragement to shoot for the stars does wonders for a child’s daily attitude.  My mother never let me forget that; and as an adult I now appreciate that lesson.

 

There is an old saying that lessons in the dojang (training hall) can be applied to daily life; and I’m often heard quoting it.  Martial arts training teaches you a lot about yourself and respecting the difference between you and others.  Those of you that train already know that no form of bullying or intimidation is ever tolerated within the walls of the school OR by anyone that trains there and represents the school.  As cool as the original movie was, The Cobra Kai from The Karate Kid was, in fact, fiction.  Students are NEVER taught to bully or intimidate because of their abilities, natural or learned.  As a matter of fact, I’m a firm believer in martial arts training as a way to learn about and accept the differences between you and others; primarily because people from all walks of life, economic statuses, and personal lifestyles walk on to the training room floor to learn together.  The martial arts school is a place of acceptance.

A typical martial arts class includes people from all walks of life. The key word here is "acceptance".

 

 

When training students, I’ve found that all it takes is a little careful observation to determine physical capabilities.  One student may have a naturally high kick.  Another student may be particularly strong.  Some students may have latent abilities that have yet to reveal themselves.  Sometimes this can be potentially discouraging for the last type of student if we do not instill the characteristic of determination.  It doesn’t take much for little Johnny to realize that he does not have the kicking ability of little Frank.  When I see this, I’ll pull Johnny aside and tell him to focus on what he does indeed do well.  Martial arts are not a comparison or competition between students.  It’s a journey of self discovery.  That journey translates to life and the student comes away realizing that while some things may not come easy; the value of practice far outweighs natural talent.

 

My step-kids, aged 7 and 4, are finally going to start training with Dad.  They’re not doing this because I’m making them.  They’re both asking me.  Being on the threshold of teaching my own children has left me very reflective of my experiences at their ages.  Unfortunately, I had to learn a lot of lessons the hard way because I had to seek out influences to  assist me with my self-confidence, acceptance, and determination.  As a parent, I know just how important these characteristics are to a maturing child.  They are defensive tools for the bullied and preventive tools to keep others from bullying.  Now, combine this with something that puts you in touch with your unique physical abilities, increases your focus and shows you that if you are ever faced with a no-win situation that you don’t have be a victim.  That’s martial arts.  That’s what I teach to break the cycle.

 

Get involved, folks……

 

Master Wayne Boozer